Today, me and my 2nd grade mullet are featured on www.sexypeople-blog.com. I still maintain that this is not a mullet-proper — mullets start at the crown of the head — as it was really more of an overgrown rat-tail at the nape, more of an Alladin Sane, if you will.

I am fully prepared to take total credit for this haircut, as my mom attests to repeatedly trying to talk me out of it, but I would not hear it. I attribute this to the hours of MTV I watched as a very young kid. I would stand on the couch — with a golf club shoved between the cushions, and tennis racket for a guitar, in nothing but G.I. Joe underwear — singing along to Tears for Fears’ “Shout,” Madonna’s “Material Girl” (eesh), and Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name,” at the top of my lungs, or into a Fisher-Price tape recorder, or, most likely, both. The tape from which would either be played later in the Fisher-Price tape recorder, or in my Teddy Ruxpin, volume: cranked.